Some of us lived a difficult life path…
What got me through was my love for dance. A childhood discovery. A gift cultivated in my room. Alone. My situation did not allow for continuous training in my youth. But my passion accelerated my skills. I reached levels that were unexplainable and danced with some of the best, at the time. I was trained by professionals and performed in various venues including a professional company, for a brief time.
But it was a different time. I was repeatedly reminded I did not have the right body, the right feet, the right back, I was too old, at each door I opened. The world I was in did not know black ballerinas were possible yet. This was years ago.
I was good at what I did but I did not reach my peak.
I gave up the arts. Tucked away my ballet shoes and returned to my pen. The company I performed with went on to tour internationally and performed at the United Nations, while I started over.
As the years went by, in my sleep, I dreamed of elaborate performances. I saw the intricate details where I performed ballets and contemporary pieces with deep emotion and with talented performers.
The reality is sometimes we do not reach our peak because it is about timing. Our life is like a book and the story is still unfolding.
This world puts you in a box that limits your possibilities but destiny has a different plan if you allow it. Back then, there was no social media and other technology that would open possibilities.
Recently, I arrived at a fork in the road. A difficult choice. I chose to stay true to me. I’m not going to lie. It was the lonely choice. Often this choice does not comply with the boxes of society. As I discover who I am again, I am reminded of the child in the room. I am returning to the passion that got me through difficult moments.
Our creative gifts are not just for fun, they are for survival, growth, healing both for ourselves and for the world around us. They touch the spirit in others.
We, as humans, are complicated. That is what makes us unique and beautiful. We may have many hats. I am a studied advocate with words and in art and there is room for both.
The goal is to bring back the studied artist I once was, despite my age and the things that come with that, but with the passion that remains unchanged. It will take time and don’t worry, it will not be in the courtroom. It’s my road to healing.
As I contemplate these things, I hope to organize an association for people like me, so we can connect and return to who we are. There are no limits to the arts, only possibilities.
[Photo Credits: Occasionally, I took part in class and small parts in ballets after I quit my career in the arts. This image was taken a few years back by my toddler who was sitting at the front of the room. I gave them my phone to hold on to but they captured a moment.]